3. PART 1/2: What is Love?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim - In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful.

Let's seek His Love~

Assalamu ‘alaykum & Greetings to all,

Hope everyone’s in the pink of health and for us Muslims, may we all constantly be in our highest state of Imaan, inshaAllah. So for first timers, this post addresses the 3^rd topic of  “Towards the Truth Conference 2011” Series that I wrote around mid-2011.

Please note that the following are based on my note-taking coupled with my annotations. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Shaykh Zia Ullah Khan

• So what is Love? – It’s a mixed of emotions. Something that you can’t see, it’s not tangible. It’s painful, beautiful, sweet but most of all, Love is unexplainable. It is something indescribable.
  
• People who are in love are insane. Love is an illness/sickness à the only cure is marriage i.e. to have the person and you can’t deny it, don’t try to be righteous in this matter.
  
• But the Question is: Is it halal for us to love that person? Love IS PERMISSIBLE in Islam cos it is not something you can control. It is something that Allah SWT put and plant in our hearts. The only thing Islam is asking of us is to control love, to handle it. One thing men should drill into their head is that: If a lady dislikes a guy, they just don’t love you. Women are full of compassion, yes, but they can be hard core cold-hearted when it comes to this. And this is the time you got to be a man. Find someone else or go down on your knees and say the syahadah.
• Most of the time, human face downfall when they fail/fall in this field. But when you have Allah & Islam in your heart, you will be able to pick yourself and regain you confidence, inshaAllah. Devote yourself to Him, to the Prophet (pbuh) and ask for forgiveness for having loved someone so much to the extent that you forget the meaning of the one true, sacred love – i.e. His Divine Love.
• Allah approves love. He created from yourselves wives, husbands (spouses), mawaddah (love), ar-Rahman(compassion/mercy), etc.
• What people misunderstand is that they fall in love and think that after getting married, it will be the likes of what’s displayed in the movies these days, believing it will be happily ever after but what happens a lot nowadays instead are arguments, that often lead to divorces/unhappy marriages. 
• We need to understand and acknowledge; women express feelings and men are dead. We (referring to male race) don’t know how to express feelings like women. That's just how God created us men and women different. Women express love much better than men, in most cases. Smile for your wife even if you don’t know why she’s happy. HE place love and compassion in you, make use of it well, at the right time, with the right people~!
• So what’s the problem then? It’s how we see it!                                                                                 Gf/bf style – the old tradition way of Islam is not working for me, so I’m going to find a way better than Allah’s way to find my happiness. Guy opens door for you, brings you to nice restaurants, etc. and if you think this is love, it is NOT. You are gravely mistaken~! You think it will maintain that way forever, be able to live happily ever after but that’s not how it works, unfortunately to say.
• Men are pretty straightforward and simple. They look at sisters’ actions. His respect for sisters differ! What I am about to mention is a fact! Men in general usually want to fool around but when they want to settle and marry, they always look for a decent one. Men are like this and sisters need to drill this in their heads! Don’t be fooled and fall for their charms and sweet talks, sisters~!
• There’s also a category of people who wants and looks for candidates who are God-conscious as it is very important to them to be with someone of that sort. And this is the best category in Islam. Allah loves this and encourages this highly.
• He also said to marry those who has Deen. Messenger of Allah (pbuh) says to marry women for 4 reasons: beauty, deen, wealth, descent. Choose to marry the one with deen. Sisters too should marry men with deen. (It is actually more important for women to find men with deen as your husband is the one to guide and teach you the religion.)
• Holding hands & walking in park is BEAUTIFUL but c'mon, you got to know this is temporary~! What you need is someone for you to hold hand in hand walking towards Jannah NOT the mall, etc. (lol) You will hold his/her hand down the aisle saying, “We will walk together to Jannah, inshaAllah.” =)
• When you see your husband during Fajr goes to wake your 6/7 years old son to pray Fajr together; this will make you love him and when he sees your children reading du’as when eating/going to the toilet/leaving home/etc; this makes you love her and you will overlook her mistakes cos of what she is doing for your children. SubhanAllah, this is the kind of marriage you should seek for brothers and sisters~!!
• So, the main message I’m trying to convey is that you need to do it through proper channels. He will maintain the love between the two of you, inshaALLAH~! =)

 That's it for today and I will post on the 2nd speaker next time inshaAllah. Oh btw, 2nd speaker's Shaykh Said Rageah (I like this speaker quite a lot! He's cool~! ;)) Okies, peace out for now peeps.

WAllahua'lam.